The Coming Desperatora

by Kim Pederson…….

So what to do if Donald Trump wins the Republican nomination and becomes the next POTUS. (He would no doubt change the acronym to TRUMPUS with his first executive order and the White House to Casa Trump with his second.) Fortunately, for all of us who soon may be adopting the expatriate lifestyle, Business Insider has just published an article titled “14 of the most affordable places for Americans to retire [feel free to substitute “flee” here] outside the United States.”

FEWoodbridge
“Go on. Get out while the getting’s good!”*

We have a “natural and inherent right” to divorce ourselves from our native land should circumstances warrant thanks to the Expatriation Act of 1868. To be clear, the act of expatriation means you have decided to live in a country other than the United States or, in the more extreme case, that you have renounced your allegiance to it. We still have a few months, though. No need to rush into anything. Better to do your research first.

So, according to BI, these are the “superexpatrialidocious” countries to put on your check-it-out list:

  • Panama
  • Colombia
  • Thailand
  • Spain
  • Belize
  • Malaysia
  • Nicaragua
  • Malta
  • Guatemala
  • Ecuador
  • Portugal
  • Costa Rica
  • Mexico
  • France

These countries (yes, even France) rate highly on International Living’s Global Retirement Index. According to IL,

Retiring abroad is easier and more affordable than ever before. These days it really is possible to spend your days relaxing beneath palm fronds on a Caribbean beach, enjoying farm-fresh produce in a mountain haven with year-round spring weather, or wandering the storied streets of a historic and cultured European city…or all of the above.

It all sounds rather, well, idyllic, doesn’t it. Almost irresistible. Idyllic, though, implies idleness, which we all know is the “devil’s workshop.” To avoid the Mephistophelian repercussions of lying around taking up beach space and annoying others with endless cocktail requests, one would need an occupation of sorts. I have an idea for mine: figure out the words behind the TRUMPUS acronym. Let’s see. How about something like “Topmost RUMP of the United States.” Too simple, perhaps, and way overused but yet so inelegantly apropos.

Shoot. Unemployed again after thirty seconds. I guess it’s the workshop after all. I wonder if Beelzebub offers health insurance.

* Frederick E. Woodbridge was a major proponent of the Expatriation Act of 1868 (US-PD).

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Visit Kim Pederson’s blog RatBlurt: Mostly Random Short-Attention-Span Musings.

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