Nov 062015

by Barbara Blackmore…….

Well, it happened. I may be one of the least repressed people that you have ever met. I grew up being comfortable seeing my parents nude, my kids grew up seeing me nude. When they closed their bedroom door, I started wearing a house coat. Nudity is the way we came into this world. It is something that feels too good. Today, it was too much!

It was 9:30 in the morning. I pedaled over to my local drug store to get some vital purchase, and what did I see? Down the aisle comes a woman dressed in a fishnet. The holes were about a ½ inch. I think that the Fantasy Fest criterion is naked nipples. Well, her nipples were there, naked and proud. There are times and places where I would have celebrated this demonstration of personal power. Not at 9:30 in the morning! Not at my local drug store!

Yech! I saw, I retreated. I saw, and something got stuck in my craw. This is a family place; it is the local drug store. There is a party zone, just down the street. We are not in the party zone. So, I spoke up… “You are dressed inappropriately for this location. That is for the party zone. This is a place for families.” 

I don’t know if I scored one with her, I did with me.

Since, my mind has been running wild with ideas. How do we keep nudity inside the party zone?

They say that they, the alleged “they,” are writing tickets. I haven’t seen anyone writing tickets. How would that go?

Officer: “I see your private parts. I am writing you a citation for indecent exposure.”

Exhibitionist: “Where do I put it?”

(Insert tasteful image of a naked person at Fantasy Fest….. Image Unavailable)

So, mind spinning, I came up with a possible solution.

We, the citizens and residents of Key West can take some responsibly toward making Key West a fantastic place to live and raise a family. If we choose to keep our residential areas free of gratuitous nudity, we can become proactive.

Idea one: have those fence/guardrail things at each entrance and exit to the party zone, they have them on Duval street anyway; Parade time; closed off streets; we could put those barriers across the access streets. Have an officer/concerned citizen at each exit point prepared to warn partygoers that they are leaving the party zone, and either thank them for coming, or warn them that their attire, or lack of, is unacceptable outside the party zone.

Idea one, part two: have downtown businesses design and create a bag, like what we would do with garbage bags in a rain storm, a hole for the head and for each limb. These would be made out of biodegradable paper because they will wind up on the streets.

The person at the exit points would then inform the party goer that they, the concerned citizen, are authorized to write a ticket for indecent exposure as a citizen’s arrest. In lieu of writing the ticket, the party-goer could wear the above-mentioned bag until they are dressed more acceptably. The bags would cost $5.

Now, why would anyone want to buy a paper bag to wear? Because it will be one of the most exclusive souvenirs of Fantasy Fest. Not only will the businesses put incredible illustrations on the bags, there would be a check-off list of the body parts bared, and there would be slogans like:

bag girl

As a courtesy, the inns and hotels within walking distance of the party zone could have stacks of these bags, and distribute them to their guests.

Let’s be proactive and take back our Halloween Celebration!

[optin-cat id=”26188″]

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 November 6, 2015  Posted by at 12:54 am ~ Opinion ~, Issue #139  Add comments

  One Response to “Guest Column: Is it Fantasy or the Naked City?”

  1. As a nudist I do understand your opinion. I do hope you take the time to fully read the nudity laws of the state of Fl. In short what you seen could not hold up in court as indecent.

    We were in KW for the full 10 days and never seen any of this outside of the ZONE.

    Part of the issue here is the exact limits of the so called zone. My understanding is it runs from one end of Duval street to the other and 1 block each direction so that would include Simonton and Whitehead. It has been suggested before that rules be posted but did not see any.

    So please tell us the location of this drug store.

    As to allowing a citizen to make an arrest I caution you that this could land you in court and defend a wrongful arrest charge with criminal and legal charges on you and civil judgement . Could get costly.

    Is no need for a bag as simple low grade white T shirts can be had for about $1. And if you charge for them you need a license and collect sales tax. Do the smart thing and call the KWPD and let them handle it. Also note that being they were in a store it is now up to that store to allow or not.

    You live in a party city and nudity to a degree is expected. What I find disturbing is that men can be standing outside of the male gay bars on the street in undies or in plain view dancing on bars getting money. To me that is lewd but goes on 365 days a year.

    Face the reality that any underage kids could easily see plenty by simply walking to Duval. Kids today can and will see plenty on the internet and nothing you can do to stop it.

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