Screwed, Blu’d and Tattooed by Reef Perkins…continues…

screwed blu'd tatooed reef

Key West author Reef Perkins shares more of his hilarious book,

Screwed, Blu’d

and Tattooed


Reef Perkins

Check-Out Time”

 (Click here for previous chapter)

… Jordan whined. ”There’s no little bottles of shampoo, no body lotion, no shower cap, nothing! The toilet paper isn’t even folded! You cheap ass!” The crooked croupiers looked at each other.

Chill, I’m not your mother,” Alan said bravely and moved to relieve himself. “Jordan, look at this!”

Not now, Alan.” But curiosity drew Jordan to the bowl. The baseball cap and sunglasses fell to the floor.

Beneath the crystalline waters, lay a clear bag. It appeared to be filled with blood red rubies.

Alan and Jordan kneeled to inspect the sparkling stones. Each could see the other’s reflection in the water. A closet door opened silently behind them. A third reflection appeared from above. The intruder slammed the toilet seat down, forcing their heads into the bowl then sat on it, patiently. Four knock-off Gucci’s slapped pathetically on the cold tile. Four knees banged and contorted blue lips puckered like a prudent Koi, ready for a final kiss goodbye.

It’s sad.” the third reflection mumbled and kept flushing.

Alan and Jordan died staring at each other and the stones. The water slowly turned red. Not from blood, but from rock candy rubies, dissolving.

A gloved hand dialed the front desk and asked for a late check out.

Never did trust that kid.” The third reflection mumbled, found Jordan’s bag, filled it with the missing toiletries, baseball cap, sunglasses and moved quickly into the waiting darkness. The night was cold; the Vegas strip nearly empty. It was a place where fortunes changed hands faster than jumper cables at a redneck funeral.

The third reflection entered the Hy-Ball casino. A drab purse, containing the item from Jordan’s bag, hung on a drab shoulder. The Random Number Generator reader had been a difficult item to come by. Five hard years and one motel room later, a fortune lay ahead.

The purse fit perfectly between two slot machines. A human head didn’t. Behind the purse flap was a small computer that looked like an I-phone. Through a tiny window on the side of the slot machine the computer read the top and bottom numbers on the RNG. It divided the top number into the bottom number and multiplied by ten.

On the thirteenth slot machine the reader showed a payoff probability of ninety-seven percent. The third reflection racked up $ 12,000.00 in a short time.

Bulky men appeared and jerked the drab gambler upright. The purse was confiscated; sunglasses and baseball cap came off exposing an overweight red-haired woman. Two security guards frog-marched the rotund redhead unceremoniously toward the front door.

A nearby croupier noticed the commotion. “Hey, you’re Alan’s step-mom, right? He didn’t come to work today, is he sick?”

Maybe…the little fucker sure looked flushed the last time I saw him.”

Without warning her overloaded heart stopped but her ass didn’t. She groped the beefy bouncers, took three steps and toppled face-first onto the carpet with a thickening thump. Check out time.

Radios crackled. Gawkers gawked. The drab purse disappeared.

= = =


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About the Author

Captain Mark T. “Reef” Perkins is a marine surveyor with a colorful past. From commanding a 150-foot 300 DWT US Army diving ship off Vietnam to smuggling in the Caribbean, Reef Perkins has become a living legend. A graduate of both the US Army Engineer Officer Candidate School and the US Navy Salvage Officers School, he’s a man comfortable in or out of the water. Raised in rural Michigan, Reef now lives in Key West where he can get his feet wet. He is the author of the bestselling memoir, Sex, Salvage & Secrets.


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Published by Whiz Bang LLC, 926 Truman Avenue, Key West, Florida 33040, USA

Screwed, Blu’d and Tattooed copyright © 2013 by Reef Perkins. Electronic compilation/ print edition copyright © 2013 by Whiz Bang LLC.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced, scanned, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the publisher. Please do not participate in or encourage piracy of copyrighted materials in violation of the author’s rights. Purchase only authorized ebook editions.

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, businesses, companies, events, or locales is entirely coincidental. While the author has made every effort to provide accurate information at the time of publication, neither the publisher nor the author assumes any responsibility for errors, or for changes that occur after publication. Further, the publisher does not have any control over and does not assume any responsibility for author or third-party websites or their contents.

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