Oct 092015

screwed blu'd tatooed reef

Screwed, Blu’d

and Tattooed


Reef Perkins

***Ingrown Heirs***

A Compact History

Blu’s Yunger’s far-flung uncle, Ferling Bagwidth, once described as a “hermit crab without the personality,” owned a home and clock repair shop half way down Dung Beetle Lane in Old Town, Key West. Ferling was a Conch. A Conch (pronounced Konk) is someone born, without a say in the matter, on the island of Key West.

One hundred years ago Ferling’s great uncle, Wiley Bagwidth, a Bahamian and Master Shipwright, along with his partner, Moon Bender, had dismantled a ramshackle bordello on Old Guano Cay, in the southern Bahamas. They shipped the pieces to the Isle of Bones on a turtle schooner, along with one –hundred roosters, and reassembled it on Dung Beetle lane. Unfortunately, some wooden pieces were used to make cooking fires to fry chicken during the voyage. It was a long trip and a hungry crew. Only two of the one-hundred roosters made it ashore and, in a tragic oversight, Moon Bender forgot to bring any hens. The roosters made do.

Over the years Bagwidth learned that Key West was originally discovered by a gay Spaniard who, after an unusually long crossing, affectionately and accordingly named the barren rock Cayo Hueser, the Isle of Boners, as a tribute to his crew. However, upon his return to Spain, the name caused great public uproar and unwarranted pain to the captain and crew and, although many clergy suddenly volunteered for sea duty, the name was quickly modified by scribes to read, Cayo Hueso, the Isle of Bones.


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About the Author

Captain Mark T. “Reef” Perkins is a marine surveyor with a colorful past. From commanding a 150-foot 300 DWT US Army diving ship off Vietnam to smuggling in the Caribbean, Reef Perkins has become a living legend. A graduate of both the US Army Engineer Officer Candidate School and the US Navy Salvage Officers School, he’s a man comfortable in or out of the water. Raised in rural Michigan, Reef now lives in Key West where he can get his feet wet. He is the author of the bestselling memoir, Sex, Salvage & Secrets.


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Published by Whiz Bang LLC, 926 Truman Avenue, Key West, Florida 33040, USA

Screwed, Blu’d and Tattooed copyright © 2013 by Reef Perkins. Electronic compilation/ print edition copyright © 2013 by Whiz Bang LLC.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced, scanned, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the publisher. Please do not participate in or encourage piracy of copyrighted materials in violation of the author’s rights. Purchase only authorized ebook editions.

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, businesses, companies, events, or locales is entirely coincidental. While the author has made every effort to provide accurate information at the time of publication, neither the publisher nor the author assumes any responsibility for errors, or for changes that occur after publication. Further, the publisher does not have any control over and does not assume any responsibility for author or third-party websites or their contents.

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 October 9, 2015  Posted by at 12:35 am ~ Artists ~, Island Voices, Issue #135, Literature  Add comments

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