An Immodest Proposal: A Solution to School Shootings
Editor:
All this agonizing over school and other shoot-outs! The Sheriff of Harnett County in North Carolina and others in Texas and Arizona have lately urged everyone in their counties to carry guns. And the Florida and other state legislatures are considering whether to allow open carry in the schools. So does this include the obvious solution for school shootings? Why aren’t we arming the little ones themselves!
To defend us Americans’ love of our personal freedom, what better way to meet challenges to kids’ 2nd Amendment rights than starting in pre-school, if not sooner, to arm all the possible victims of shootings? Notice that ISIS has shown them mobilizing their own four-year-olds against us.(1) So shouldn’t each little American have a chance to defend his or her personal liberties and space against threatening confrontation by armed intruders? Cops are seldom in sight and teachers can’t defend their school all alone. So each teacher can create an armed militia out of the classroom pupils.
It’s so obvious: If the U.S. needs armed citizens–employers, managers, school administrators, teachers, staff, and parents–besides security officers, why don’t we also arm the littlest kids themselves for self-defense? And not concealed weapons either: dangerous intruders getting in a kid’s face needs to see just what firepower they are up against. Lots of states already allow open-carry. So if anyone pulls a gun on the kids in the classroom or on the playground, the little ones just yank out their heat and fire away.
Let’s be darned sure there are enough clips in the kids’ sidearms to do the job, too: no single-shots or silly school-marm limits to a barrage of bullets against the bad guys. Don’t forget, more than half of school and other shoot-ups have used rapid-fire, multiple-clip weapons, as the anti-gun fanatics keep harping on. But the little ones need matching firepower so’s not to be out-packed by the criminals. While we’re at it, how about military surplus machine guns for schools? Or bazookas? Or rocket launchers? Well-trained kids can be assigned to man a loaded rocket launcher in a corner of each classroom. And what about a hand grenade in each kid’s desk or locker, so the bad shots among the kids don’t have to aim: BAM!–the bad guy is blown to pieces. Pacifists’ kids could at least carry tasers or tear gas canisters.
While we’re at it, for added self-protection, every child could have a little armed drone flying around the classroom and outside ready to strike at a second’s notice—a fun idea, too, and no doubt educational.
The nationwide “Families Afield” program wants parents to train their kids to use guns.(2) Let’s set up gun training for every 4-year-old, as soon as older kids have been brought up to par. Little kids should push their parents to get them a NRA “Junior Membership. But of course we better not hamstring gun-toting kids with intrusive “mandatory gun safety training”; the NRA is certainly against that kind of oppressive government overreach by Big Nanny.(3)If any of the armed tykes unfortunately land in the hospital, their NRA membership entitles them to sign up for assistance at any of sixty NRA-sponsored U.S. “Medical Response Centers” and if necessary to be airlifted by one of the 1,500 NRA-approved air ambulances around the globe.(4) And NRA members’ families can get Life Insurance Central® coverage for any “fatal accident.” (5)
Remember, it’s not bad guns that kill good people–it’s stupid laws that keep good people from killing bad people.
(signed) The Kids’ Friend, a Concerned Citizen for the 2nd Amendment uber alles.
Sam Wilberforce a.k.a. Malcolm Willison
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1 CNN TV news, 1/3/16.
NY Times 9/18/05, cited K. Congdon, Magazine Six, 2006, p.31.
2 Newsmax, 3/20/14.
NRA email, January 23, 2013, in NY Times, 1/28/14, p.A19.
NRA email, January 23, 2013, in NY Times, 1/28/14, p.A19.
NRA, Oct. 1, 2013.
3 NRA release, Oct. 1, 2013.
NRA email, January 23, 2013, in NY Times, 1/28/14, p.A19.
NRA, Oct. 1, 2013.
4 NRA email, January 23, 2013, in NY Times, 1/28/14, p.A19.
5 (NRA, Oct. 1, 2013).
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The person who sent in the letter about arming the little tykes. You must have a lot of time on your hands to produce a silly letter. It would be nice to see some logical responses to the question of school shootings. Gun Free Zones are soft targets with little or no resistance what so ever and the attacked knows this.These people are opportunistic feeders and these are their choices. The response to these attacked goes against all logic of arming school employees and they know this. This is exactly why it keeps happening over and over again. If you were an attacker, what target would you choose.. a school or a police station?
Sam, How could we have been so stupid? It’s obvious, this is the solution! It could also be a great stimulus to the economy. Just like we have kid size tennis racquets, or golf clubs, or even clothes, we can have kid size automatic weapons. You know, those ISIS guys really know what they’re doing. Thanks for pointing that out. Sam, you’re a genius. ciao, Jerome
huge tongue and cheek sarchasm! wins the bevis/butthead darwin award.
seriously do any remember when they were children shooting 22cal at the amusement parks? yes shooting galleries at all amusement parks big city and suburb. win prizes too. geeze we had our own 22s at 10 years of age. never a problem though….I guess our society was more god loving and ethical and honest and had way more respect for the family unit….like mom and dad’s opinion! YA THINK? and safety was a high priority when handling guns as equal when handling bows and arrows also or knives and darts too.
remember when at the ymca was the nra sponsored indoor gun range?
lets put a conclusion on this post…..
ITS THE COLLECTIVIST SOCIETY MARXIST VALUES THAT HAVE CORRUPTED THINKING AND THE ‘norm’ of decades ago along with the leftist main stream media playing the god is dead card and infringing government coming at people from every direction trying to drive them to become more and more dependent on big brother.
do you really think its by ‘coincidence’??? THINK AGAIN…and above all ‘WAKE UP’.
no jerry this is not meant for you just slumber on making mockeries of an extremely serious subject.
Wankjam, Mockery is in the brain of the beholder. The closest I’ve ever been to a real firearm was at Coney Island as a boy, shooting at the shooting range kiosk. I have no idea what kind of gun it was, other than to say we knew it wasn’t a real gun. It couldn’t kill a thing. ciao, Jerome
dear jerry by mockery I mean the debasement of our constitution…..and no your post was plain ‘mockery’…get some balls man and say it as it is…as for coney island i’ll bet they were 22s…and yes a 22 can kill even a man behind the ear! unless it was a bb gun you were shooting??? unless you really don’t know but then how could you write on a subject you know nothing about??? but you were 70 also that long ago and I know at the jersey shore all 22cal gun galleries and Olympic and palisades parks in north jersey with 22cal shooting galleries. needless to say the social norms were of a far greater consequence then they are today with the ‘permissive-offended- dumbed down’ population we see abounding in this nation thanks to the marxist liberalism of decades of indoctrination in school and msm into touchy feely warm and fuzzy ‘relativism’. then again I do digress!