by Kirby Congdon…….
My lover and partner of forty-three years was different than any of my other friends. I was asked, “How did you handle it between yourselves? What kind of discussions did you have to resolve this distinction that was so public?” My partner and I replied with words to the effect that if your lover had been born with an excess of psoriasis that gave his face a visible proof of acne, was that something we had to resolve to make ourselves, as a couple, acceptable to the average standard of social behavior? The case of acne did give me a ruddy complexion later on, but who cares? My acne spread from my face all the way down my back. It was inaccesible for me and I had medical attention for it. But I don’t recall it as anything that we had to explain away. That is why I refuse to explain what made my lover’s identifying difference a matter of discussion. For common sense what is irrelevant tends to stay there.