Mar 202015
 
A Red Tag for Noah

 by Michael Alan… The earliest record of a code enforcement action was in the book of Genesis: “Good morning, Mr. Noah, do you have a permit for that?”  I myself am building a boat in my backyard, just like Noah. Naturally, there were certain problems to consider. How I would get it out to the street when it was finished topped the list. Whether I needed a permit to build it did not enter into it. I guess, like Noah, I felt that God had [continue reading…]

 March 20, 2015  Posted by at 3:35 am Editorial, Issue #106, Michael Alan No Responses »
Mar 132015
 
Transgender Mosquitoes, Threat or Menace

by Michael Alan The first thing they tell you about serious writing is: do not, under any circumstances, write about anything serious. Everyone says so, and it is true, it tends to piss people off. What you should do is come up with a really good title. That is the key to it all. Readers can read the title and then they know exactly what you are going to say. That way they do not have to read the article per se and they can [continue reading…]

 March 13, 2015  Posted by at 2:45 am Issue #105, Michael Alan No Responses »
Feb 272015
 
Rasputin Returns... As a Dog

by Michael Alan It has long been rumored that Rasputin, who was notoriously difficult to kill, never died. Just when we hadn’t heard from him for a while, Rasputin appeared in Key West. The story is confusing and complicated so I will try to break it down for you.The first thing you need to know is that Rasputin is now a dog… a French Canadian world-class German pointer dog. Should we be concerned? I will let you be the judge. “Why is he not in [continue reading…]

 February 27, 2015  Posted by at 12:55 am Issue #103, Michael Alan No Responses »
Feb 192015
 
An Immodest Proposal

  by Michael Alan… What do you think of when you think of Key West? Watching the sunset with a Margarita in hand, relaxing on the beach, fishing, snorkeling, dining, and shopping would be at the top of many people’s lists. Some of us enjoy watching the Conch Train go by, counting the cruise ships, and dodging scooters and runaway bicycles. We also test our imaginations by wondering what goes on inside the t-shirt shops and jewelry stores that line Duval Street. The list goes [continue reading…]

 February 19, 2015  Posted by at 11:21 pm Island Voices, Issue #102, Michael Alan 3 Responses »
Feb 132015
 
Alice in Uberland

by Michael Alan It was one more in a succession of dreamy days. Alice drowsily looked down through the bougainvillea from her balcony perch to the narrow Old Town street below. She loved Key West in the summer, when time seemed to flow in that special sticky slow way and no one wanted to do anything in a hurry. As she gazed, she heard a nervous voice from the open window of a car below. It sounded so pathetic that she felt the urge to [continue reading…]

 February 13, 2015  Posted by at 12:42 am Issue #101, Michael Alan No Responses »
Jan 232015
 
Skippy Strikes Again

by Michael Alan As those of you who are familiar with the adventures of Skippy the car will remember, Skippy shut himself down and refused to budge on a dark and stormy Christmas Eve. Neither threats nor promises were effective, so we called in the professionals and had Skippy physically removed from the Florida Keys to Miami for some re-programming and cognitive therapy. Shortly after the smoke from the New Year’s fireworks wafted out to sea, we received word from the service department that Skippy [continue reading…]

 January 23, 2015  Posted by at 12:57 am Issue #98, Michael Alan No Responses »
Jan 092015
 
Open The Driver's Side Door, Skippy

by Michael Alan I think it all started when we took Skippy to the car dealer in Miami for a minor recall. It was just a quick airbag-bolt torque but, in retrospect, it marked a turning point in our relationship. Now I can see the signs that I failed to notice at the time. Skippy is of South Korean extraction and named after a town in Arizona (Tuscon, not Skippy). So it is natural that Skippy has issues. The trip to the dealer seemed to [continue reading…]

 January 9, 2015  Posted by at 12:24 am Island Voices, Issue #96, Michael Alan 1 Response »
Jan 022015
 
A Keys Christmas Tree Story

by Michael Alan……. I am sure you have noticed them lying there, alone and forlorn at the side of the road. I don’t know about you, but I feel a twinge of guilt as I pass by and wonder if it could have worked out differently somehow. Was there something I could have done to help, some Good Samaritan-like act that would spare the carnage and shame?

 January 2, 2015  Posted by at 12:25 am Island Voices, Issue #95, Michael Alan No Responses »
Dec 122014
 

by Michael Alan…… Dear Ernest, I thought of you the other day as I drove down Whitehead Street and nearly ran over a family of tourists. They had stepped out from between the parked cars to take pictures of your house. Your brick wall is still there. I always like to speculate about the wall. Was it to keep the tourists out as you worked? Now it keeps them in. It also keeps in the cats. I bet you would never have thought they would [continue reading…]

 December 12, 2014  Posted by at 12:52 am Island Voices, Issue #92, Michael Alan No Responses »